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Studies sponsored by the Male Contraceptive Initiative and Parsemus Foundation are testing hydrogels, a type of polymer that retains water, that block sperm from traveling through the vas deferens.

Goldstein emphasized that it typically takes about six weeks to ensure sperm is no longer alive in the vas deferens, which should be documented by a sperm test.

My doctor suggests that the bumps could be sperm granulomas, which can form when your sperm start leaking out of the cut end of your vas deferens.

A vasectomy, for the Google-averse, is a minimally invasive, needle- and scalpel-free procedure that “seals” one side of each vas deferens to block sperm from entering the urethra.

To which we say, if you don’t recognize the vas deferens — er, difference — you probably don’t have any business buying basketball tickets.